I know the title says ZERO again… Don’t be judging me. (I judged myself there for a while, so I get it).
Also, don’t judge me for the chocolate mud cake we had for breakfast in bed. It had to be eaten today and we were going to leave in the afternoon.
However, in between organising food and repacking new supplies, Maya got to me.
That cheeky Swiss girl kept up with little comments about resting and hanging out and hiking my own hike and enjoying my time… She got to me.
We went and had burritos for breakfast, had more naps, and I stitched up holes in Speedy’s pockets.
And she just kept getting to me.
Speedy and I had agreed to hike 14 miles in the afternoon. We had Mt Baden Powell to summit (9000 odd feet – not as high as San Jacinto but still higher than Kosciusko), and there was a campground a few miles past that, so it made sense.
You know what else made sense?
Speedyman wasn’t too impressed I changed my mind and decided to stay another night, but my body (and mind) loved me once more. As soon as I accepted it and admitted to myself I’d just stay another night with the Swiss, I felt light again. It was the right call, albeit a hard one.
Having pizza and watching Friends and another night’s sleep in a bed wasn’t what I found hard. Going back on my word, changing plans and having to admit I needed some extra time to restore myself was what I struggled with.
So much of this is a mind game.
When I stop, starting seems like my worst nightmare. Right now, nothing in me wants to keep going – let alone all the way to Canada.
So thank you, again, to all of you. To those who cheer me on, and keep me believing I can do this. To those who are waiting for each blog post and making sure I keep writing – and therefore walking. Thank you for every single message and comment and email and text. I’m sorry I can’t keep up with them all (let alone this blog!), but I hope as I continue on and listen more attentively to what I need, I’ll find I have more capacity for this, and for replying properly, and even for doing the odd sudoku in my downtime.
I feel you out here with me, as if you’re waiting for me with Speedy or right behind me with the Swiss and Thibaud and HK4 and Koreans and everyone else I love, and it makes all the difference. I couldn’t do this alone.
Love you guys!