Well, I went two hundred metres today.
And then J$, Pickleback and I sat on a flat rock, overlooked Donner Lake, shared coffee and breakfast, and I simply decided I was done with hiking for a while.
I’m just kinda over it.
A reset button needs to be pushed.
I love living outside, I love feeling strong and capable and conquering mountains. I love ticking off kilometres and getting closer to completing this feat.
I also love listening to my heart.
I love admitting when I need to care for myself, and sometimes that means pressing pause and being okay with it.
So, I called Whitney – a friend from back in my YWAM Belize days. She and her husband Trevor live in Reno, Nevada, which is only a 40min drive away from here. This past week I’ve been trying to figure out how to juggle logistics, and it’s been a mental nightmare. I want to see them, meet their baby girl, and I’ve got two MORE [non-hiker] friends who are in Reno right now as well. I also want to get to Redding to see friends from Byron Bay, but trying to piece it all together with miles and timing and highways and distances made my brain just shut off. It was too much.
Remember the Winnie the Pooh and his honey pots?
“There are twelve pots of honey in my cupboard, and they’ve been calling to me for hours. I couldn’t hear them properly before, because Rabbit would talk, but if nobody says anything except those twelve pots, I think, Piglet, I shall know where they’re calling from. Come on.”
When I turned off the voices all scrambling for attention on how and when and where and if I could make visiting my friends become a reality, a new option arose.
I could finally hear my honey pots.
They whispered: “Go now. Hug these friends goodbye for a time, and come venture east. Take time off to spend with other friends, and don’t feel guilty about it. The trail will still be there next week. We’re here, waiting!”
I’m jumping in, holding nothing back, and I feel fantastic.
Listening was the right choice.
As I sit here beside Highway 40, about to hitch across the state line and see friends I haven’t seen in nearly five years, I’m feeling a peace, a contentment, a joy, and an excited anticipation for the next few days to come.
I’m not on Trail, but I’m on the right track.