What am I dreaming for?
What is my life message?
What will be the questions I ask myself on my deathbed?
Am I living up to the answers I hope I give on that day?
I’m not sure I can answer confidently if the hike today was more challenging than the podcast I listened to – and the thoughts it provoked.
I listened to Brendan Burchard talk on High Performance Habits* and ideas began to swirl as the path ahead of me ducked in and around trees, up and over mountains.
I count myself super dooper blessed to have been raised by parents who always spoke life and belief into myself and my sisters.
In my early twenties, I partnered with my Dad in a great network marketing business (that actually isn’t a dodgy scam!), and we spent a lot of time going to personal development conferences and intentionally bettering/growing ourselves. I used to be challenged by big questions all the time. I had goals that I worked towards. In between the throes of young love and the general chaos of growing into a woman with two sisters right behind me (can you imagine the hormones in our household? I still shudder…), I actively sought to be the best version of myself. There was intention behind choices and decisions. I had a notion of the kind of woman I wanted to be, and I worked towards becoming her.
Lately, though, I haven’t had similar vision.
I don’t have clarity for what I’m working towards in the future.
After finishing off this walk, I don’t really have any goals at all.
I guess I’m just floating. I hadn’t realised it, because the Pacific Crest Trail is taking my all right now just to complete – but what about afterwards? I know that this feels like it’s preparation of some sort; I’m learning life lessons and pushing myself and growing in gratitude and appreciation and communication and having a perspective that always sees the good.
But preparation for what?
I don’t know.
What kind of legacy do I want to leave? What is the story I want my life to tell? What do I want to teach people, to show the world? What big/crazy/beautiful dreams can I be working towards? What areas can I grow in, or be more intentional about? What kind of woman do I want to be?
I don’t know all these answers either – but I can start to find them.
I feel like I’ve got some direction to steer my mind towards, as I continue to steer my feet south.
The possibilities scare me a little, but I’m not one to run from my fears.
I don’t want to float through life.
And what about you?
Are you working towards your best self?
What questions might you ask yourself if you were in your last moments? Would you be happy with the answers you’d give right now?
Like I said: challenging day.
*Thank you Matt Pratten for the recommendation! You can find it as one of the interviews on The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes.