Day Ninety Two – Three: ZEROES

Thank you again to all who are praying for me around the world. Thank you for your encouragement and support. Thank you for the messages flooding in and reminders that I’m on track.

Understandably, this weekend was not my average town stop.

It was on the outside, of course. We had breakfast mimosas and went shopping for town clothes and ate ice cream and rode electric scooters.

But I also spent of lot of time on the phone with my folks, and with good coffee and Jesus and letters from home.

Taking time out for myself has been key.

Last night, when Nemo and I got to the hostel, I think I must have spent nearly half an hour under scalding hot water. Taking my phone into the bathroom with me, I’d put on music so anyone who was in the room adjacent wouldn’t have heard my sobbing, and I let out as much emotion and stress as I could under that shower.

When I finally emerged – clean from the past week’s dirt, but not from the dirty feeling I still had crawling on me – Prodigal was in the room.

He had pumped out miles to get to town and was completely unaware of how the day had planned out for the rest of us. The poor guy was just about knocked sideways as he asked me how on earth we’d got there before him and I starting sobbing all over again. Apparently, there was more emotion I was still to let go of.

Prodigal’s been with me on and off since we had breakfast together on day one before driving to the Mexican border. He gets me. He knows me – as much as you can know someone when you live together in the woods for three months. He held me tight and rocked me as we sat on the floor. We joked once about him being the big brother I never had, and he was more a brother and a friend to me in that moment than anyone could have been.

So, I want you to all know that I’m doing good. I’m sure there’s a lot that I’ll continue to process as I continue walking, but at least I’ve got the space to do so.

I’ve got a renewed sense of peace: I’m exactly where I need to be, even if I don’t always know why.

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